Disclaimer

The AntiStarr Coalition would like to disclaim all liability for the earthquake that occurred approximately 12 hours after the posting of the last article.

We've Missed You

StarrFans - we're sorry. We've let you down. We've failed in our undeniably important task (and we're very distressed about it).

With so few of our number left to bask in the aura that surrounds him, we've found it difficult to bring you that which you seek so valiantly - news of the inimitable Mr Starr.

Please, don't worry. We're back on the beat and desperate to make you, StarrFans, happy once again. As our first sacrifice on the altar of forgiveness, we've brought you a short consideration of Mr Starr's recent article - Options, Options, Options (StarrsVoice 18SEPT2007). Before we can allow ourselves to delve further into the delights that await inside the article itself, we just have to spare some virtual column inches for the title. There is no doubt that true journalistic style manifests itself in strange ways - but we would have thought that repetition was slightly pushing it. We're left reeling from the virtual smack in the face, but I think we can assume that this literary masterpiece will have a passing relationship with Options.

We see that the "new academic year ... started a bang" (StarrsVoice 18SEPT2007) - but we have no further information to bring you on that, StarrFans. We did check with the Edinburgh Earth Observatory (they monitor earthquakes around the globe), but Professor Bruce Gittings (whom we thank profusely for talking to time to talk with us) states that no measurable seismic event occurred in Lancaster during intro week. A real shame, but admittedly Mr Starr didn't define the nature of the bang. Perhaps he could reveal how long the bang went on for?

We skipped some of the article (it isn't so much that it's boring, just...well, there is a lot of 'fleshing out' material. Mr Starr had taken some time off before Options, Options, Options though - so perhaps he was unused to writing to a word limit. What did strike us was the multitude of options (thank you) available at Lancaster to broaden those academic horizons - to step that little bit further into the great forest of progress. Indeed, Mr Starr says that some subjects "enable you to look at whichever area you want while help you improve your essay writing skills and throw the use of alternative formats" (StarrsVoice 18SEPT2007).

We are bound to ask - did Mr Starr avail himself of those subjects?

ps. We understand if you are resentful due to our absence. But please, show some heart - don't throw any alternative formats at us. They really hurt.

Apologies

Sorry, StarrFans, we've been a little busy this week, and we've not had time to bring you any further insights into Mr Starr's work. With two members of the coalition away, and another busy with exams - we were a little caught up.

However, we would like to share just one thought with you. Whilst posting this, we noticed something interesting built into the blogging software . . . that's right, you guessed it, a spellcheck button. We are therefore wondering just why it is that Mr Starr's articles still contain spelling errors when he posts them.

MI7

Good Afternoon, StarrFans!

We were thrilled to see Mr Starr take his first tentative steps on the Coalition’s blog yesterday, and we extend a very warm welcome to him.

So, we move on. We noticed that StarrsVoice appears to have mislaid the profile section – which is sad – so we can no longer stay up-to-date with the latest developments in Mr Starr’s life at University. However, he kindly published another article, entitled “Disaster in Denmark” yesterday, which we read with much excitement – it being the first post for a while.

Obviously we were somewhat upset by the typographical error in the very first line, but with modern technology being as complex as it is, this could happen to anyone. Advancing through the article, we see that there is yet more questionable grammar in the first paragraph. Perhaps this is just because the journalistic skills were going a little rusty – not a problem, we’re sure.

We do wonder just what constitutes “Our sources in Denmark” (StarrsVoice 22MAY2007), as this seems to imply that Mr Starr is rivalling an intelligence gathering service for that elusive scoop – I hope that The Times will respect the date on his posting, and not steal his copy. We were also somewhat concerned with the foreign relations aspect. Now, it isn’t our place to comment on the readership of Starr’s Voice, however I think we can safely assume that it numbers in the hundreds of thousands. Some of those people will not reside in our great nation – and this leads us to a tremendous opportunity to integrate in the global community (something which Mr Starr has shown himself to be a model ambassador for in previous writings). However, we might suggest that he commits a bit of a faux pas, referring to Denmark as “an alien country”. We’ve not met a lot of Danish people, although we applaud the ones who make the pastries, but we do think that if they were aliens, we would have seen it on ITV news by now. So, to the people of Denmark, we extend the apologies of a humbled nation.

We’ll leave you now, with just one final StarrThought to keep you going this Wednesday – our hero has once again taken a great leap forward for the human race:

“corners will be cut” and “a meal that would have been a square, may become a perfect circle” (StarrsVoice 22MAY2007)

Never again will eating be such a dangerous activity. Thank you.

A Friendly Reminder

We've seen no action on StarrsVoice, so we left him a little comment asking when his next article would be published for the world to see. We'll keep you updated, StarrFans.

Missing in Action

Where has our hero gone?

Mr Starr was updating the world with his exploits every two days, back in the day. We wondered, briefly, if we might be to blame for this sudden silence - but then we reassured ourselves that if he was reading these humble thoughts he would have corrected some of his more basic spelling and grammatical errors by now.

Did anybody notice?

We've been eagerly awaiting news of Ryanair's demise in recent weeks, waiting with extraordinary impatience to see them fall by the wayside - yet more litter in the corporate graveyard. Why? Because Mr Starr has brought them down! That's right, StarrFans, our hero has struck a blow against corporate Europe - in fact, against one of the most prolific capitalist devils that has ever sought to raid our wallets.

You might be forgiven for thinking that there was simply nothing that one man could do to strike such a blow for freedom - however, you would be wrong. Mr Starr has already proven himself a worthy champion, a worthy opponent of evil and most importantly - a worthy David in the struggle against the corporate Goliath.

This, StarrFans, is why we wait - impatiently - for news of the fall of Ryanair. We know it is coming, and we know that our hero is the catalyst, but we just don't know when.